Try and remember 3 good people in your life.
Now try and recall 3 people whom you dislike.
Which was easier. If you are anything like me it would be the second one.
Why is it that it is easier to remember the bad than the good.
We tend to gossip and spread rumours about something that is negative because it is more juicy.
When you gather with people do you gushed about the good qualities of a person or do you skew towards the side of complaining and grumbling.
Do you give thanks because it is good weather? Or do you find yourself groan everytime it starts pouring?
When good things happen we don't really notice or exclaim. But when bad things happen our mouth starts lamenting the so called catastrophe.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
Honesty is the best policy
Bluffing is not an option. When faced with a tricky, difficult question people tend to evade telling the truth if it means hurting their livelihood, pride or cause an emotional loss to them.
The Bible states that The Truth will set you free. It is very easy to take this verse out of context and use it to our own convenience. However we have to always be shrewd - acute or sharp in practical matters. We are not bluntly honest but wise in telling the truth
We also have to bear in mind that the way the world works is more complicated and we got to use our brain communicating something we think is the truth
I for one am a frank, straightforward person. If I dislike something, someone I will let them know without running around the bush. Most people would think that is naive.
I don't tell the person that I hate them or anything that depressing . What I actually do is to lessen my frequency of contact with them. After all why spend time with a person who is displeasing to you and does not do any good for your emotional health.
What about if someone ask you if something looks nice. Why tell them it does when it doesn;t
If your boss had an idea, will you such up to him and praise him to the heavens stating that you think the idea is the best you ever heard and gush over it or do you let him know what is in your mind tha the idea is trash in a more gentle way.
That's me previously.
Now I have become a more complex thinker. I prefer that term to open mindedness as it denotes that one was wrong in the past. But my thinking was not in error. It was a point of growth that I had to go through in order to come to the stage that I am now
Taken to the extreme, honesty without tack can do more harm than good. Though I admire frankness, I know understand why subtlety is necessary for self defence in conversation most of the time
Should someone ask me if she looks fat, I would tell him (most likely her) that I am not too sure. I would say she look great and ask her back if she has weight herself recently. Throw back the question at her and she will have to answer herself. Why should I tell her something that is so obvious to hersl\elf
Of course the goal of the conversation is also important to decide whether or not to be honest.
Honesty cause you to be vulnerable. The information that you share could be use against you. So it is wise to practise caution in what you reveal. Remember that everyone have skeletons in their cupboard and it is not good to bare it if these truths if it will harm you or others.
On the other side of the coin, honesty can cause another person to let down their defense system and also be honest with you. the principle of reciprocity works here.
The past. It is best to keep mum about the past especially if it is not something pleasant. Best not to medidate. Bet you thought meditation is only the silent kind. But if you keep on talking about it to others are you not reciting it and thus keeping it ingrain in your being.
Silence and a smile is the next best option to honesty. Let me rephrase that. It depends on the situation. You can put the truth in another way but you cannot twist the truth. One day you would not know whether you are telling a truth and lie and the line between those two has blured and you will live in a deceptive reality.
A lie will surely come back to haunt you
The Bible states that The Truth will set you free. It is very easy to take this verse out of context and use it to our own convenience. However we have to always be shrewd - acute or sharp in practical matters. We are not bluntly honest but wise in telling the truth
We also have to bear in mind that the way the world works is more complicated and we got to use our brain communicating something we think is the truth
I for one am a frank, straightforward person. If I dislike something, someone I will let them know without running around the bush. Most people would think that is naive.
I don't tell the person that I hate them or anything that depressing . What I actually do is to lessen my frequency of contact with them. After all why spend time with a person who is displeasing to you and does not do any good for your emotional health.
What about if someone ask you if something looks nice. Why tell them it does when it doesn;t
If your boss had an idea, will you such up to him and praise him to the heavens stating that you think the idea is the best you ever heard and gush over it or do you let him know what is in your mind tha the idea is trash in a more gentle way.
That's me previously.
Now I have become a more complex thinker. I prefer that term to open mindedness as it denotes that one was wrong in the past. But my thinking was not in error. It was a point of growth that I had to go through in order to come to the stage that I am now
Taken to the extreme, honesty without tack can do more harm than good. Though I admire frankness, I know understand why subtlety is necessary for self defence in conversation most of the time
Should someone ask me if she looks fat, I would tell him (most likely her) that I am not too sure. I would say she look great and ask her back if she has weight herself recently. Throw back the question at her and she will have to answer herself. Why should I tell her something that is so obvious to hersl\elf
Of course the goal of the conversation is also important to decide whether or not to be honest.
Honesty cause you to be vulnerable. The information that you share could be use against you. So it is wise to practise caution in what you reveal. Remember that everyone have skeletons in their cupboard and it is not good to bare it if these truths if it will harm you or others.
On the other side of the coin, honesty can cause another person to let down their defense system and also be honest with you. the principle of reciprocity works here.
The past. It is best to keep mum about the past especially if it is not something pleasant. Best not to medidate. Bet you thought meditation is only the silent kind. But if you keep on talking about it to others are you not reciting it and thus keeping it ingrain in your being.
Silence and a smile is the next best option to honesty. Let me rephrase that. It depends on the situation. You can put the truth in another way but you cannot twist the truth. One day you would not know whether you are telling a truth and lie and the line between those two has blured and you will live in a deceptive reality.
A lie will surely come back to haunt you
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Joshua
The story of Joshua begins with a biy who is no favourite in his family. Because he was the apple of his father's eye he was outcasted by his brother.
I like the story of Joseph because God was with him in all circumstance and though he might have despaired, he was contented where he was. I don't think that I can be as noble as Joseph.
Even when he was in the prison he could give glory to God. He attributed his talent for interpreting dreams to God instead of taking credit for himself.
Despite being thrown into jail he did not blame God for it instead in put his whole faith in God and just flow with it.
Where is there found a man like Jospeh who was so sure that God would not dessert him. Even when faced with the king and his impossible request, Jacob remained calm and testify that God would help him to interpret the dream. Joseph dare testify because he knows that God will not leave him all alone with no idea what the dream is about. He must have walked right with God.
I like the story of Joseph because God was with him in all circumstance and though he might have despaired, he was contented where he was. I don't think that I can be as noble as Joseph.
Even when he was in the prison he could give glory to God. He attributed his talent for interpreting dreams to God instead of taking credit for himself.
Despite being thrown into jail he did not blame God for it instead in put his whole faith in God and just flow with it.
Where is there found a man like Jospeh who was so sure that God would not dessert him. Even when faced with the king and his impossible request, Jacob remained calm and testify that God would help him to interpret the dream. Joseph dare testify because he knows that God will not leave him all alone with no idea what the dream is about. He must have walked right with God.
Celery
If you cook celery long enough with ABC soup, the disgusting taste will disappear and it becomes eatable.
Now I can declare myself a fan or celery...muahahah... I think I am going crazy over vegetables
Now I can declare myself a fan or celery...muahahah... I think I am going crazy over vegetables
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Bittergourd
If you boil bittergourd long enough with dried dates, very soon you will have sweet bittegourd. The bitterness will have disappeared and even the soup taste sweet and not a hint of bitterness.
So it is with life when things go sour or when you have a very bad experience, take heart that things can take a turn for the better. When you feel like throwing in the tower, don't . Chins up, straighthen your back and force a smile. Don't be in denial though.
Admit the reality of the situation. Admit your embarrassment, failures, mistakes. This is a cliche, but it is the only way. Analyze the situation and think of how you can go from there.
Recently a friend of mine had the misfortune of being dumped by a guy. She was so badly affected that she cried every day and it affected every aspect of her life. Her life was bitter at that point of time and it seems that no amount of prune can make it sweet again.
I also thought that it was over for her too. The wasy she handle the situation was terrible. She refuses to go out with anyone. Kept to herself, overeat and overspend and she looked like an aunty. Indeed I have not seen anyone go downhill any faster.
However, she realize her mistake soon enough. One day she woke up and decide that she was going to boil prunes and I mean seriously pick up the remaining valueble pieces of her life and do something meaningful with it. She decided to go out and take a new course. She looked her best in every time I see her. She indulges in healthy habits instead of destructive ones which might lead her to bankruptcy.
Her life is indeed now sweet
I was amaze at this change in her. It was like a Chinese drama. So I asked her what is it that change her. Honestly she said she still is hung over by the bad experience in the past. But slowly the negative emotions are dissipating . It requires discipline...I agree.
So when bad things happen don't make it worse by meditating and thinking of it. It is ok to cry. Cry as much as you one cause there will come a day when you would think about this as a minor incident.
There are great things awaiting for you in the future. Boil the bitttergourd with prunes and add in some herbs for good measure.
Remember and be thankful that you have friends who will fight with you the good fight in life.
So it is with life when things go sour or when you have a very bad experience, take heart that things can take a turn for the better. When you feel like throwing in the tower, don't . Chins up, straighthen your back and force a smile. Don't be in denial though.
Admit the reality of the situation. Admit your embarrassment, failures, mistakes. This is a cliche, but it is the only way. Analyze the situation and think of how you can go from there.
Recently a friend of mine had the misfortune of being dumped by a guy. She was so badly affected that she cried every day and it affected every aspect of her life. Her life was bitter at that point of time and it seems that no amount of prune can make it sweet again.
I also thought that it was over for her too. The wasy she handle the situation was terrible. She refuses to go out with anyone. Kept to herself, overeat and overspend and she looked like an aunty. Indeed I have not seen anyone go downhill any faster.
However, she realize her mistake soon enough. One day she woke up and decide that she was going to boil prunes and I mean seriously pick up the remaining valueble pieces of her life and do something meaningful with it. She decided to go out and take a new course. She looked her best in every time I see her. She indulges in healthy habits instead of destructive ones which might lead her to bankruptcy.
Her life is indeed now sweet
I was amaze at this change in her. It was like a Chinese drama. So I asked her what is it that change her. Honestly she said she still is hung over by the bad experience in the past. But slowly the negative emotions are dissipating . It requires discipline...I agree.
So when bad things happen don't make it worse by meditating and thinking of it. It is ok to cry. Cry as much as you one cause there will come a day when you would think about this as a minor incident.
There are great things awaiting for you in the future. Boil the bitttergourd with prunes and add in some herbs for good measure.
Remember and be thankful that you have friends who will fight with you the good fight in life.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Volumetrics
In my quest to improve my diet, I stumble across this diet plan called volumetrics. This is not as famous as Atkins and weightwatchers and I wonder why so because it has a lot of positive review.
The theory is that if you are full you would not overeat. Therefore you can lose/mantain your weight by filling yourself with low energy density food such as vegetables and soups.
One person commented that this diet kept her sane. Unlike the other diet which focus on calorie counting and restricting oneself, I think this diet is quite logical as well as practical. After all don't people ditch diet because they feel hungry.
This is a diet that requires little self control because if you are already full there need not be much control on your side to restrain from eating. Physically your body will reject the thought of any food. Psychologically the feeling of fullness will overcome your craving for any unhealthy snack.
Even if you cave in , you will feel like throwing up after the first bite of that tasty dessert because you have already eaten healthily and satisfyingly. Trust me , I've been through it
The theory is that if you are full you would not overeat. Therefore you can lose/mantain your weight by filling yourself with low energy density food such as vegetables and soups.
One person commented that this diet kept her sane. Unlike the other diet which focus on calorie counting and restricting oneself, I think this diet is quite logical as well as practical. After all don't people ditch diet because they feel hungry.
This is a diet that requires little self control because if you are already full there need not be much control on your side to restrain from eating. Physically your body will reject the thought of any food. Psychologically the feeling of fullness will overcome your craving for any unhealthy snack.
Even if you cave in , you will feel like throwing up after the first bite of that tasty dessert because you have already eaten healthily and satisfyingly. Trust me , I've been through it
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
It's nice cooking for myself
I have always shunned cooking before this because I thought it was tedious and burdensome. I would use lack of time as an excuse for eating out. Also I am afraid that I will grow fat because I will only cook for myself and most likely have to eat everything myself.
However, today I turn totally into a new leaf. I suddenly feel the urge to cook so strongly. I wonder it is premature maternity instinct.
So toda, though I came back late at 9 pm... I cooked chicken soup with vegetables and had it for supper and it really felt good. Which is really different from the me last time.
Last time I would think how nice it would be if someone were to cook for me. Now I thought how nice it was that I have the ability to cook for myself.
Of course it would be fun to have someone to share and enjoy my cooking with me. But it would be the same level of satisfaction... no more no less.
Besides that I am also quite sick of outside food. Everytime it is the same thing.
Furthermore I do not want to end up with diabetes or high blood pressure anytime before 50 or at any age for that matter.
The dish that I prepare are devoid of salt and sugar and yet they taste incredible. Just the basic ingredients... ummm... yummy. My saliva is just drooling as I am writing this.
My mind is thinking of opening a restaurant... But that will remain a dream.
I think if I keep this up I can live up to 200. Muahahaha
However, today I turn totally into a new leaf. I suddenly feel the urge to cook so strongly. I wonder it is premature maternity instinct.
So toda, though I came back late at 9 pm... I cooked chicken soup with vegetables and had it for supper and it really felt good. Which is really different from the me last time.
Last time I would think how nice it would be if someone were to cook for me. Now I thought how nice it was that I have the ability to cook for myself.
Of course it would be fun to have someone to share and enjoy my cooking with me. But it would be the same level of satisfaction... no more no less.
Besides that I am also quite sick of outside food. Everytime it is the same thing.
Furthermore I do not want to end up with diabetes or high blood pressure anytime before 50 or at any age for that matter.
The dish that I prepare are devoid of salt and sugar and yet they taste incredible. Just the basic ingredients... ummm... yummy. My saliva is just drooling as I am writing this.
My mind is thinking of opening a restaurant... But that will remain a dream.
I think if I keep this up I can live up to 200. Muahahaha
Dark place
Today when I was walking back through a dark shadowy alley , I saw a couple dating in an obscure place.
I ask myself the question why does the girl have no self respect. Why does she allow the guy to bring her to such a place which is so cheap. It is so obvious the guy does not have any good intention towards her.
On the guy's part, why does he not give the girl the respect that she deserves by bringing her to a place with more class.
Of course at that point of time the couple seem to be engaged in a harmless conversation which is probably about babies, the future or whatever it is couples share to bond.
But the talking can only last so long. I bet in a few minutes after I have gone, they will be snogging.
At the risk of sounding self righteous, I totally am against spending time one to one especially in dark places. Though I confess to have broken the rule more than I care for. But I was no wiser back then.
Perhaps the longing for intimacy is the thing that drives these youngsters together to such unhealthy activity. However is it worth it? Is the experience a must?
I ask myself the question why does the girl have no self respect. Why does she allow the guy to bring her to such a place which is so cheap. It is so obvious the guy does not have any good intention towards her.
On the guy's part, why does he not give the girl the respect that she deserves by bringing her to a place with more class.
Of course at that point of time the couple seem to be engaged in a harmless conversation which is probably about babies, the future or whatever it is couples share to bond.
But the talking can only last so long. I bet in a few minutes after I have gone, they will be snogging.
At the risk of sounding self righteous, I totally am against spending time one to one especially in dark places. Though I confess to have broken the rule more than I care for. But I was no wiser back then.
Perhaps the longing for intimacy is the thing that drives these youngsters together to such unhealthy activity. However is it worth it? Is the experience a must?
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Thanksgiving
Thanks for the friends that I have in church
Thanks that I get to celebrate 2 of my sisters birthday today
Thanks for the cheap but delicious birthday cake
Thanks for the friend who took a few hours to repair my computer but expect nothing in return
Thanks for my great room mate
Thanks that I finally came back to church
Thanks for the delicious dinner
Thanks that I get to celebrate 2 of my sisters birthday today
Thanks for the cheap but delicious birthday cake
Thanks for the friend who took a few hours to repair my computer but expect nothing in return
Thanks for my great room mate
Thanks that I finally came back to church
Thanks for the delicious dinner
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Recently I relented to followinig most of my friends and registered on facebook. Which is not such a bad thing bacause it allows me connection with friends far and near and it also has it good function.
I will not be surprise in the future should employers want to hire they will check out the profile of the prospect on facebook just to make sure the person is not borderline psychotic.
Therefore it is advisable for one to make sure that what you place on facebook projects your image positively. It is also important to reveal information that will be to your benefit and does make you look foolish. Information like which part of the world you have been to is something good to brag about on facebook. Information about how you broke up with your ex is a no- no
The relationship part of the facebook was a bit tricky. so I decided to leave that portion untouch. Why do we need to say that we are in a relationship with someone on Facebook. Then the whole world will know when you break up if that happens and it is not something that is easy to reveal to others.
Actually what made me join facebook in the first place was BOREDOM. I was bored to bits and also people have been mentioning this facebook. It can be a bad thing if one spends too much time on facebook checking out on other people's profile. After all the best way to know a person is through face to face conversation.
Well I'lll stick around and see how long this fad will last. I hope they don't invent some other thing for connecting cause it is really a waste of time .
I will not be surprise in the future should employers want to hire they will check out the profile of the prospect on facebook just to make sure the person is not borderline psychotic.
Therefore it is advisable for one to make sure that what you place on facebook projects your image positively. It is also important to reveal information that will be to your benefit and does make you look foolish. Information like which part of the world you have been to is something good to brag about on facebook. Information about how you broke up with your ex is a no- no
The relationship part of the facebook was a bit tricky. so I decided to leave that portion untouch. Why do we need to say that we are in a relationship with someone on Facebook. Then the whole world will know when you break up if that happens and it is not something that is easy to reveal to others.
Actually what made me join facebook in the first place was BOREDOM. I was bored to bits and also people have been mentioning this facebook. It can be a bad thing if one spends too much time on facebook checking out on other people's profile. After all the best way to know a person is through face to face conversation.
Well I'lll stick around and see how long this fad will last. I hope they don't invent some other thing for connecting cause it is really a waste of time .
Distress
When cornered, each of us react differently. These are the behaviours which I have observed to manifest in others when they are threatened:
1. Cry
2. Backstab another person
3. Talk to another
4. Shift the blame on another
5. Withdraw
5. Feign ignorance
Manifestation number 2 is the one which puzzled me in the past. However it does not surprise me now was I have seen it happened right in front of my eyes. Because of my personality which is good natured mostly, I always assumed that others are more or less similar to me. But now I have come to terms that people can be very different. If I was black they could be white. And there are things that is beyond my imagination.
What is most important is that I do not look down nor put them beneath me because of this trait which I perceive to be evil and weak. It is better for me to understand this behaviour and not to tread on danger zone of these breed of human beings unless necessary.
After all it is the best to be at peace with everyone and not make enemies. This does not mean trying to please everyone. I might not be able to please someone but still be at peace because I know what I do is the right thing. Someone might think of me as the enemy but as long as I treat the person civilly I am in control of the relationship. Therefore that person is not my enemy regardless of what he wants to think of me
1. Cry
2. Backstab another person
3. Talk to another
4. Shift the blame on another
5. Withdraw
5. Feign ignorance
Manifestation number 2 is the one which puzzled me in the past. However it does not surprise me now was I have seen it happened right in front of my eyes. Because of my personality which is good natured mostly, I always assumed that others are more or less similar to me. But now I have come to terms that people can be very different. If I was black they could be white. And there are things that is beyond my imagination.
What is most important is that I do not look down nor put them beneath me because of this trait which I perceive to be evil and weak. It is better for me to understand this behaviour and not to tread on danger zone of these breed of human beings unless necessary.
After all it is the best to be at peace with everyone and not make enemies. This does not mean trying to please everyone. I might not be able to please someone but still be at peace because I know what I do is the right thing. Someone might think of me as the enemy but as long as I treat the person civilly I am in control of the relationship. Therefore that person is not my enemy regardless of what he wants to think of me
Confidence
I have always admire people with confidence. They believe in themselves. They have dreams and they follow through. They know what they want in life and the steps to be taken to achieve that goal.
Obstacles and distractions are easily overcome by these people. Failures and disppointments does not seem to depress them. When things go rough, they can ride through the storms.
These are the people that I would say have supernatural abilities that exceeds the ability to fly in the air, stop time or predict the future. This is the strength which I covet to possess.
Obstacles and distractions are easily overcome by these people. Failures and disppointments does not seem to depress them. When things go rough, they can ride through the storms.
These are the people that I would say have supernatural abilities that exceeds the ability to fly in the air, stop time or predict the future. This is the strength which I covet to possess.
Mass Culture
I came upon an interesting topic today when I talked to the CEO of James Cook University. I was mentioning to him that there are certain courses which student prefer which makes these courses "popular" .
He agreed and also added that popular courses correlates with the occupations which is depicted in the television in series like CSI, ER, The Attorney... so on and so forth.
TV is what makes students flock to study Medicine, Law, Forensics. The shows depicts these jobs as being very interesting and solutions for the daily problems solve within a day. Students might be aware that these are unrealistic but they are still drawn towards these courses because in these movies the characters are charismatic.
I probe my CEO further because I never did thought that TV could have such a big influence on one's ambition in life. He informed me that he did a thesis on this before and the concept of Mass Culture came up.
When I googled for Mass culture I could only find the term popular culture. Popular culture is birthed from society's interaction with mass media especially the television or perhaps You Tube
With the birth of you tube and other forms of downloading devices from the Internet legal or illegal, we cannot excape being exposed to films that appeal to the mass public.
If we are rebelling against this mass culture we will be cast aside as ignorant as there would be no common topic to talk about. If everyone watches Superheroes and I decided to shun it, I would be considered either an anti superhero or just someone who is outdated. I think the latter is more appropriate.
Mass culture can cause one to lose a sense of uniqueness. Everyone is trying to identify with each other and thus the similarity can become so entrench that it merges the whole society into a single unit of actions, behaviours and interest.
If all the high school students wants to go for Medicine, Law , Forensics what happens to the less popular course. Of course a quota will be set for the ones who is inclined to perform well academically. Then the rest who scored below average will have to settle for the less in demand courses and nurse their discontentment.
They would have to face parental nagging for their lack of performance which cause them to not be able to follow the public opinion of what is considered a worthy occupation to pursue.
He agreed and also added that popular courses correlates with the occupations which is depicted in the television in series like CSI, ER, The Attorney... so on and so forth.
TV is what makes students flock to study Medicine, Law, Forensics. The shows depicts these jobs as being very interesting and solutions for the daily problems solve within a day. Students might be aware that these are unrealistic but they are still drawn towards these courses because in these movies the characters are charismatic.
I probe my CEO further because I never did thought that TV could have such a big influence on one's ambition in life. He informed me that he did a thesis on this before and the concept of Mass Culture came up.
When I googled for Mass culture I could only find the term popular culture. Popular culture is birthed from society's interaction with mass media especially the television or perhaps You Tube
With the birth of you tube and other forms of downloading devices from the Internet legal or illegal, we cannot excape being exposed to films that appeal to the mass public.
If we are rebelling against this mass culture we will be cast aside as ignorant as there would be no common topic to talk about. If everyone watches Superheroes and I decided to shun it, I would be considered either an anti superhero or just someone who is outdated. I think the latter is more appropriate.
Mass culture can cause one to lose a sense of uniqueness. Everyone is trying to identify with each other and thus the similarity can become so entrench that it merges the whole society into a single unit of actions, behaviours and interest.
If all the high school students wants to go for Medicine, Law , Forensics what happens to the less popular course. Of course a quota will be set for the ones who is inclined to perform well academically. Then the rest who scored below average will have to settle for the less in demand courses and nurse their discontentment.
They would have to face parental nagging for their lack of performance which cause them to not be able to follow the public opinion of what is considered a worthy occupation to pursue.
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